UC知道[IELTS]高手请帮我评下这篇作文，谢谢
来源：百度知道 编辑：UC知道 时间：2024/05/09 06:32:24
是书上的原题
题目大概是这样
Happiness is considered important in our life
Why is it hard to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?
250 words,etc....
正文
Happiness is a topic that's been talked about for a long time by everybody in the world.Interestingly, there isn't yet clear difinition for it and the way people think about happiness is various around the globe.In the following paragraphs,I'd like to investigate why it's not easy to define and what things might be essential for achieving happiness.
As everybody probably knows, happiness is a type of emotional feeling that you have to show satisfaction about something. But is that really all that happiness is about? The answer is negative. In fact, there are a variety of ways to show happiness, depending on the actual situation. For example, a man would want give whomever next to him a hug if he was just told that he won a lottery prize, and this is a way t
题目大概是这样
Happiness is considered important in our life
Why is it hard to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?
250 words,etc....
正文
Happiness is a topic that's been talked about for a long time by everybody in the world.Interestingly, there isn't yet clear difinition for it and the way people think about happiness is various around the globe.In the following paragraphs,I'd like to investigate why it's not easy to define and what things might be essential for achieving happiness.
As everybody probably knows, happiness is a type of emotional feeling that you have to show satisfaction about something. But is that really all that happiness is about? The answer is negative. In fact, there are a variety of ways to show happiness, depending on the actual situation. For example, a man would want give whomever next to him a hug if he was just told that he won a lottery prize, and this is a way t
总体看，写得很好，句型以及词汇都很高级，逻辑也很清晰。说理性也很强。估计至少是7.厚厚，我不是雅思考官噢。
几个问题：
1.Happiness is considered important in our life 你对这一点强调不够，只是一带而过。
2.语法错误，这是英国佬最忌讳的，他们认为这样的错误是silly mistakes，他们一眼就能detect出来的，蒙混不过去的。那样分数上会大打折扣的。
there isn't yet （+any）clear definition
the way people think about happiness is various（various很少作定语）The way...differs或There are various ways of defining happiness
what things（should be factors） might be essential for achieving happiness
a type of (a kind of 好一些）
want give （want to give)
for dinner(to dinner,invite sb to...)